I spent a couple of hours with my mom this afternoon. When I arrived, I found her slouched down in her recliner, knees tucked up, reading a book. It’s the first time I’ve seen her even pick up a book in months. The last time I visited, I cleared a tottering pile of books and magazines off the little folding table next to her chair; taking the books back to the bookcase in her bedroom and discarding the old magazines. I’m glad now that I left her a couple of books by her chair, as it was one of those she was reading.
She asked how I’ve been, so I talked about my new job… and then I switched to sharing family news. I mentioned that Sarah is in Colorado this weekend because Ashley graduated from high school on Saturday, pulling out my phone to find an Instagram photo of Ashley in her white cap and gown with her older brother Josh. Mom looked at the photo blankly. “Who are they?” I explained that these are two of her grandchildren, and Mom shook her head. “I haven’t seen them for so long,” she said. I declined to mention that she saw Ashley just three weeks ago. With her memory, even yesterday can be long forgotten.
What took me by surprise was her reaction to Sarah’s name: “And Sarah is who, again?” She’s seen a lot of Sarah the last couple of years and always lights up when her oldest granddaughter comes to visit or joins us at church. I gently reminded her that Sarah is her oldest granddaughter, the one who goes to church with us sometimes. Mom nodded. “I’m having trouble with names lately,” she said. I squeezed her hand. That’s OK. It happens.
She’s also apparently having trouble sleeping. One of her caregivers told me that last night Mom sat up around 11:00 p.m. and rang the bell by her bedside, saying she couldn’t sleep and wanted to get up and read. So they brought her out to her recliner and she sat up and read until 6:30 this morning! Then they gave her breakfast and she finally went back to bed and slept until 11:00 a.m. I asked Mom if she’s been having trouble sleeping and she said yes, just lately. “There was one time when I didn’t sleep for 30 hours!” she told me. “I was up all day and all night and half the next day before I finally fell asleep.”
I don’t know if the 30 hours part is true — that’s the kind of thing I would expect the owner of the care home to notify me about — but I’m going to call her primary care doctor tomorrow and see what he suggests. I’m hoping there’s something over the counter that she can take safely for occasional sleeplessness, because it will be July before I can get her in to his office.
As for the names thing… I’m just thankful she still recognizes people when she sees them in person, whether she knows their names or not.