It Starts Now

Mom is having a hard time adjusting to the new table in the dining room. I was told she got very upset when they told her she was being moved and demanded to know why… but I thought she’d be fine with it as soon as she got acquainted with the new table mates. But apparently every day she forgets and tries to sit at the old table and then it’s upsetting all over again when they tell her she can’t.

When I dropped her off after her dentist appointment today, I learned that there was an incident at breakfast. Mom came down to the dining room in her pajamas and tried to sit at the old table. The Care Director headed her off, telling her that she has to get dressed before she comes downstairs and that she has to sit at the other table. The way the Care Director told it, Mom had a temper tantrum, slamming her walker into the table and raising her voice. She refused to go back upstairs and change out of her pajamas, but they did talk her into sitting at the new table. “I’ve never seen her angry like that,” the CD told me. Neither have I. One of the saving graces so far is that Mom has always been so good natured and agreeable, but I guess that’s about to change.

It’s clear to me that she’s entered a new phase in her dementia since her last hospitalization. The things that used to work, like reminders via phone call, are no longer effective. She’s not managing her activities of daily living (ADLs) without some assistance, so we’re going to need to pony up more money every month to have someone get her dressed in the morning, comb her hair and help her brush her teeth, escort her to the dining room for meals, and help her get into her pajamas at night. And I think I should start looking into whether there’s a Medicaid waiver that covers Memory Care facilities, or if that’s just for skilled nursing, because I have a sneaking suspicion the staff at her current place aren’t at all equipped to deal with advanced dementia.

This is it, folks. The hard part starts now.

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5 thoughts on “It Starts Now

  1. I’m sorry to read about all the changes in your mom. My dad’s dementia got worse when he was hospitalized and in a nursing home for 3 weeks. But after he returned to his assisted living facility, and over 3 to 6 months, he slowly came back to the abilities he had before, and now, 2 years later, he is doing better than ever! I hope as your mom stays out of the hospital now, that her dementia will improve as well.

    • I hope so, too! It’s been two months (almost) since she came back to the AL and she just keeps declining. 😦

      I finally got an appointment for a neurological evaluation: February 4. So that’s something.

  2. Sounds really hard. I am glad to hear how proactive you are being & how connected you are to your Mom’s staff. They call you, you call them. Let me know what I can do for you from afar…if you need a breath of soggy air, maybe we can find another cheap tix to PDX. 🙂 I am so glad that your Mom is close by.

  3. My mom is in a nursing home — has been for nearly two years. They changed her table for meals earlier this week, and she was a little cantankerous with me when I pushed her wheelchair to the new table. She put her foot out, like a door stop, and refused to get any closer than two feet from the table. The nurse told me to leave her there and they would deal with it. I kind of laughed at the whole thing, but I also understand how hard any change can be.

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